#40

the sunshine hit through the curtains that gently displayed a clear view of the city skyline. a million dreams burning through the streetposts. a cuddly puppy with the tag collar that spelled "Pogi." tossing and turning, not in anxiety, but in anticipation that today was gonna be the most beautiful day. because i knew that the burning passion in me wasn't stagnate, but rather lit into a flame.

and this is the kind of lifestyle i want.
so how do i get it?

many people talk about what they want. but when it comes to the action part, beyond the words, most people take a lil light vacation. i've experienced so much pain, letting go, and moving around that at this point- i really could care less. ok, im lying. i do care.

but im learning that the farther i want to go, the lighter i have to be in what i chose to hold onto. get rid of jealousy. i won't compare what i'm going through to someone who seems to have it so much easier. because what happened has happened. and what hasn't happened wasn't meant to be. as my boy, ne-yo so clearly said, "i wouldn't ask God any questions because i know He knows what He's doing."

today i made a list of things i want to accomplish. and i have the next 25 years of my life to get it.

i want to get my LVN.
i want to get my RN.
i want to study international studies.
i want to become a travel nurse.
i want to go school in New York.
i want to take photography classes.
i want to go to LA recording school.
i want to get a recording internship.
i want to travel to Africa.
i don't want to be held back.

and i want to love, sing, dance, smile, and laugh.
and live life.

i want my fire to burn. and while im doing all this, i want people to look at me and go "oh elainne? she da bomb!" thats the effect i want to have.

vacation time is over. because im ready for action.
take two.