#43

first day of school in philippines: vaginas and manila skylines

"hello sir. ma'am." i heard the tricycle beeping and the jeepneys engines hustle down its way Makati City as i closed the door on my way in, along with the familiarity and comfortable-ness i've been living back home in the states. it was gone. i couldn't help to think of the english phrases that i so simply took forgranted. what's even more fustrating for me is being funny in tagalog. i mean.. sure i got jokes in english, but would my funniness translate in tagalog?

i was welcomed into "batch 17"- a simple collection of six filipinos willing to dedicate 40-so hours each week to become a LVN. how did i get here again? it all happened so fast, and now that im here faced with the books in front of me, i'm wondering if i have the dedication to actually do what it takes? i don't like questioning myself! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

all alone and nothing to comfort me except... omg. i have nothing to comfort me!!! except daddy, who is hilarious and um. ube ensaymada! its ok. i believe in myself and that's all that really matters. sometimes im surprised at how motivated i am to get what i want, its almost frightening. like you know- when you have something in your mind so ingrained, that you don't take no for an answer? sometimes i think that im just taking NO.

i don't want that.
ok, i understand that i don't get my tagalog on as comfortabley as others, but what do you call practice?! hmm? you can't expect to learn if you don't even try. and don't even try actually, because to say your "trying" is to have the intention of failing, and i don't plan to fail anything. i plan to succeed. i see success. say you'll do it and you will.
im not gonna lie to you, this whole "studying" thing is distracting me from my other goal of finding my husband here. i mean.. hello! ateneo basketball player that was the plan! "oh my boyfriend? yeah.. he's a balla! literally." I. WANT. THAT. but i guess it isn't written yet, what will happen, will happen. never question God's plan for you.

today's lesson we learned about how the vagina operates when a baby's head pops out. there was a demonstation done in which "ma'am" placed her two forefingers in the vagina of this dummy.. with a babydoll as a demonstation of how it comes out (transverse, lateral, and other anatomy phrases i need to re-learn). she kept on referring to how we would handle the delivery and i kept on thinking, "omg! my fingers gonna go in a vagina looking for a baby's foot?! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! i mean.. yayyyyyyyyyyyyy." i don't know how to take that, im both excited and yet grossed out.

afterways, i made friends with my new "study buddy," she seems timid and scholarly, or maybe that's our language barrier getting in the way.. anyways, after i proclaimed her as my "study buddy" i went over to her dorm area and lemme just say "oh dahnggggg giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl. u livin the good life." as soon as i climbed up the stairs i knew this was some VIP residential i was going into. there was a maid who was cleaning the doors as we walked in, complete with posh white leather couches lined in silver buttons as the television blared some annoying telenovela. i looked to the left where there should of been a wall, but instead was a clear glass wall (window?) that showed the Makati skyline below. i looked down at the streets of cars roaming through the city as the pedestrians walked with a sort of fast-paced hustle that could've matched New Yorkers and the skyscrapers lined the manila sunset.

i talked to the advisor who was there too, Rezza (who was my favorite of them all cause she's so nice :).. see how nice she is? she just got the smiley face!) and she showed me the room i would be staying at... all i can say is. Keyshia be feeling and living like a celebrity. im so overwhelmed! but i think i like it.