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i feel as if i am being pulled in many different directions. looking back at my posts, i realize how eloquent and how inspiring i am. but what have i done to actually achieve this? i am too easily distracted. and i don't want to be this way. the person who talks and talks. but never actually shows progress.

i feel i put out this pressure for myself. calling myself a 'hustler.' but what have i really hustled for?

and now that it's been over a year since i graduated from Philippines with my LVN, i'm no where near where i thought i'd be..

when i was younger, i used to think that i'd have it all figured out by now that i'm older. i mean, im 22... and i'm no where near being 'figured out.' i'm not even sure what it is i want to do. things that I HAVE accomplished is that i live in los angeles. i have passed my NCLEX-PN and now am a licensed PN in Florida. I am a Los Angeles Rep for Duck Down Music, the same record label of Talib Kweli, 9th Wonder, Pharoah Monche, and Cypress Hill.. but this doesn't even seem like a real job. It's my side hustle. And I'm thankful for it.. it made me realize that music is my high. Music makes me feel alive..

I also have a job. But it's just a 'fun' job on Sunset Blvd working for movies. But it's not a career. It's no where leading me to my career. It's my 'bread.' It's what makes living in LA possible for me..

I don't know where to begin, I just pray that God guides me path. I know that if I put in an effort He will guide my steps. I am blessed and beautiful. I am capable.

I must never forget this.

Stay up & Stay busy,
Elainne 22 y.o.